*Just a little warning to those reading, I am writing down everything I remember before it is gone, so if knowing about enemas or afterbirth is going to be an issue I advise you to check back tomorrow. *
Today you are two and I have yet to write down the story of your birth. So here it goes.
You were scheduled five days before your due date because I knew we were moving across the country in two months and I wanted to make sure you were healthy and I was "healed" before we got on a long airplane ride.
My induction was scheduled for midnight. Which now that I think about is totally ridiculous, why I didn't schedule for early that night or later that morning is beyond me.
I felt great. I was so excited to meet you, know what you were going to look like, hear your voice, see if you fit the name I had picked out in my head. Before we went to the hospital I remember hanging with Katie DeMartini in her apartment knowing that I was going to have you "hopefully" in the next twenty four hours. I was calm but excited and nervous all together. Knowing that you scheduled for delivery is so less stressful, then wondering if any minute you are going to burst into labor. I have I have the option, I would do it again.
Your father and I arrived a little late and were admitted through the ER doors at Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital. They put me in a wheel chair and sent me on back to our delivery room. We were laughing and joking around, it was a really relaxed and wonderful atmosphere.
By 1:00am they started me on a low dose of pitocin, and I when the nurse check me, I was already dilated to a four and I was almost fully effaced. I believe you would have been born in the next day or two anyway. I asked for an enema because I really really didn't want to poop on you during delivery, and honestly it makes the next few days so much easier.
By 1:30am we were sleeping, me in my big fancy bed dressed in a hospital gown, monitors, and arms full of ivy fluids. The nurse would come in every hour or so to check wake me up and check on how you were doing. I loved listening to the sound of your strong heart, but I did not love being woken up. Seriously why didn't I start this at 8 in the morning?
Around 7:30 we woke up, and the contractions were strong but manageable. We were tired but still, I remember thinking, "This isn't as bad as I remember."
Around 8am the nurse scheduled changed and with great luck we were given Jenny. Our birth coach when we had Jocelyn. She is without a doubt the most wonderful nurse in the world. Everything I did was "beautiful" and "wonderful". She made me feel like a rockstar, and even babysat me for a few minutes so that Ben could go grab something to eat from the cafeteria.
We were better prepared this time for labor, so we brought a DVD player for me. I think I got about half way through Pirates of the Caribbean. As the morning went on we were progressing a little slowly, I bounced on the yoga ball and walked around the room a little bit. I was feeling brave and ready for action so I asked the nurse to turn up the pitocin because I could handle it. It worked. By noon my doctor had arrived and we he was checking up on my progress. Ben was watching the French Open, and I was really feeling the contractions now. When one hit, It felt like my lower back was being slammed with a gladiator-style mace that was then kneaded into my muscles a burly man stirring bread dough on Cake boss.
At 1pm my doctor asked if I wanted an epidural. I was dilated to a 7, and I was running out of time if I wanted one before I reached the point of no return. My epidural with Jocelyn had been such a relief, and even though this labor was easier then I remember the first one being I knew it was going to be worse, and so I chickened out and one was ordered. But I asked for a "lite" one. Just something to take the edge off. I wanted to be able to feel more then just pressure this time so that I could push harder. I was determined not to push you out for hours. Jenny eased my worry by saying that I had ordered one at the just the perfect time. Seriously she was fantastic. I wonder if she makes house calls to Oregon? The needle was bigger and hurt more then last time, but soon I was juicin' and I continued on through active labor for about another hour and a half.
At 3pm I was fully dilated and Dr. Zaki broke my water, and I was frankly shocked about how much there was. I felt like a runaway hose. Okay that was gross but it is how I felt. It was time to start pushing. I asked them to bring in a mirror so that I could see. I was so nervous, I pushed Jocelyn for almost 4 hours and I was terrified to do it again. But luckily you were out in twenty minutes. This time I sat up a little higher in the bed and held on to the sheets they gave me for support. I was in better shape when I had you and I felt the difference. Now this was definitely a "lite" epidural because honeslty I am not sure how much I DIDN'T feel. I can not express to you the pain and discomfort of pushing a child out our V-Jay-Jay, even when "the edge" has been taken off. The mirror had been bumped so I couldn't see you, but I asked your father, well, I sort of hollered at your father if you had hair. He said yes. I was ready for my last push, your head was out but your body was in and that was the craziest feeling the moment between those last two contractions I don't think I could ever forget. I believe I screamed, "Get her out! Get her out!" And I think everyone laughed at me. One hard push with some ladies tennis like grunting and you were free. You felt like and pooping out a squid through my V-Jay-Jay.
At 3:23pm, you made your entrance to this world, 7lbs 14oz 19 inches long. You were silent, with a quisitive brow, looking around the room they way you do with your big blue eyes like "Really, this is what it is all about"? Taking it all in before you made your opinion on the matter. I thought it was sort of hilarious but the doctor wanted to make sure you were okay so he had us tickle your feet until you cried, which you did and it was the most beautiful little sound in the world. I looked at you and you were a Brooklyn Violet, your own person with thoughts and feelings and dreams. I loved you so much then, but I can promise you that I love you more each and everyday.
I am overjoyed to have you in my life and every second I spend with you I love you more.
What a beautiful, intelligent, sweet girl you are, you are.
What a beautiful girl you are.